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I often work with managers who would rather stay home and match their socks than to go to an event where they are expected to socialize. However, having confidence and know-how to meet and socialize with people can make a difference in your professional advancement and personal development. You will build relationships which may help you get things done, influence others, and help your career. The good news is that it is a skill that can be learned and improved! 1) Engaging in the Conversation Have lines and questions prepared ahead of time. Plan your self-introduction. Be able to begin, join in, and end a lively, interested conversation. Master the skills of attentive listening and the art of asking questions. If appropriate, exchange business cards. If you are meeting a new person, make sure you introduce yourself: "Hi, I'm Steve Rivers from Marketing." Usually the other person will then introduce himself. Another way to start a conversation is to start with a compliment. For instance, "Your tie really looks great with that shirt. Where did you buy it?" Sometimes a general comment about the environment is a good starter. "It is so hot in here." Your opening should include a smile and a confident handshake. Recall Mae West's words, "It is not what you say but how you look when you say it." In other words, communication is over 90% non-verbal. Communication experts believe that our first impression of others are formed in the first 30 seconds. During this time, we judge nonverbal clues such as facial expressions, posture and tone of voice. According to the author of the book, Contact, The First Four Minutes, people are most aware of a few key factors in those first few minutes, specifically, confidence and caring. A certain degree of self-confidence is a foundation for any encounter. Give a firm handshake and look the other person in the eye. Showing them that you are listening with the total attention is a key indication that you care. 2) Sharing Some Information One of the best way to continue a conversation is to ask questions and then listen. Have three questions prepared. For instance, depending on the person's interest, you might ask their opinion on a recent sporting event or the trends in the stock market. Some self-disclosure can also keep the conversation going. Sharing that you are interested in a sport or a certain topic can lead the other person to ask questions or volunteer information. As the conversation continues, there will be more chances to fin things in common. have at least three pieces of information that you can volunteer. Sports and the weather are generally safe topics to introduce. You can usually pick up interesting information in the newspaper or the radio on your way to the event. Stay up on current trends. 3) Flow Through the Room Remember to circulate. When it is time to exit a conversation, smile and say, "It's been nice talking to you, I'm going to check in with my ride home (or whatever)." Of course, do not sit or stand with people you know for long. It is a good idea to attend with a friend but separate once you get to the event. Use good manners which are a combination of common sense and kindness. For instance, when you listen, listen attentively. Do not keep looking around to see who else is in the room. Do not use questionable humor or try to dominate the conversation. Learn to read your impact on others and adjust your behavior accordingly. Other more obvious "do nots" include not drinking overly, not talking or laughing too loud, and not wearing the appropriate clothing. The key points are:
Working a room gets easier with practice. You will be reaching out to people, helping them feel comfortable. You will enjoy a richer life, personally and professionally, which comes from connecting with other people.
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