Conflict Management Tips for Executives by Alexander Hiam

The executive's role can and should involve conflict management on a routine basis. There are suppliers and customers to negotiate with, departmental rivalries to resolve, and frequent disagreements about what to do or how to do it that need to be explored in staff meetings and one-one-ones. Then there are the occasional interpersonal issues that get in the way of clear communications and objective decision-making. You may have to work with someone you do not like, or who does not like you. Or you may need to step in and mediate when key employees are not getting along, since personal animosities always get in the way of effective teamwork.

Every conflict is different in its particulars, but all are similar in their more general structures. In every case:

1. Deal With Conflicts First

Executives often think it is better to finish the project, make the decision, or write the plan first, then deal with people issues when there is more time. There is never more time. And besides, people problems always damage the performance of the group. They damage your performance as an executive, so get at the roots of the conflict first, get it out on the table to see what decision to make. Since conflicts damage performances and organizations, you need to deal with them in real time and not procrastinate.

2. Practice Difficult Discussions

You should discuss any problems and conflicts with your team so you be better armed when a really big one comes up. It is often surprising to see how people seem to know little about each other at work. If one manager seems irritated during a staff meeting and does not contribute to the discussion, ask him to have a private talk afterward to find out what is wrong. By finding out what a problem is, executives avoid the conflict from escalating and might avoid a scandal.

3. Use Your Listening Power

You never get at the root of a problem or uncover the cause of a conflict by talking to people. Empathic listening is the best tool for conflict handling. Ask non-threatening, interested questions that show you are truly concerned with the person's situation and feelings. Then let them talk as much as possible. Do not interrupt. If they are not opening up, you do not have to fill the silence immediately. Listening is the key to good conflict handling and effective negotiating.

4. Focus on Needs, Not Demands

People usually take a position that is motivated by some underlying problem, need or concern. For instance, a supplier may say, "We need to increase the price." That is not literally true. What may be true is that the supplier's costs have gone up, or that your ordering pattern has changed in ways that make you more expensive to work with. The demand for a price increase is a response to this underlying concern. But it may not be the only possible response. If you probe to find out more, you may be able to propose other solutions that do not cost you as much as a price increase. Maybe you could agree to redesign your products so that you use fewer different parts, thus allowing the supplier to achieve greater economies of scale in their production. There are always win-win options to explore when you talk about each party's underlying needs.

5. Be Creative

Conflicts are problems... or opportunities! It all depends on whether you can break through the surface and do some problem-solving. When two people or groups are in conflict, the most powerful thing an executive can do is to redirect all that energy toward joint effort to solve the problem. Conflict means that the parties own a problem, but it is up to them to decide whether they want to own that problem separately or together.

Conflict Diagnostic

Do you have a specific conflict with someone? Read each statement and circle a number to indicate whether you agree with it.

Part A.	Scale Low / Medium / High
1.  They do not negotiate or communicate about the issue the way I like to.	1         2         3
2. They are not operating in the same time frame as I am.	1         2         3
3. One or both side has a negative view of the other.	1         2         3
4. Tempers or other emotional feelings are too strong.	1         2         3
5. We have not communicate well enough to understand each other well yet.	1         2         3
Total the numbers to get your score A.

 

Part B.	Scale Low / Medium / High
1.  We both need something that is in limited supply.	1         2         3
2. We have not be able to engage in constructive problem solving about the issue.	1         2         3
3. We are constrained by other people, policies, or problem that make our conflict harder to deal with.	1         2         3
4. We have a problem with timing that has to be resolved.	1         2         3
5. We have not communicate enough to understand the problem thoroughly.	1         2         3
Total the numbers to get your score B.

Use the graph below to plot your scores and find out which strategies is mot likely to resolve your conflict.

20 Score A 10   People Issues   5	Communicate	Mediate
	Resolve	Problem Solve
	5                    10                   20      Score B             Resource                              Limitation

 

• Communicate

You need to communicate and listen to their concerns more. Talk about things that bother each of you. Find out what their style and preferences are so you can adjust. If you can work out the personal friction, this conflict should take care of itself because substantive issues are minor.

• Mediate

You probably need help to resolve this conflict since you are having trouble communicating, plus you have some substantive issues that require the conflict some structure in resolving. It is important to communicate in details about problems and issues on both sides, and to solve them productively together. Ask for the help of a third party in helping out.

• Problem Solve

You are able to communicate well with the other party so make a list of the issues and concerns on both sides. Then talk through all the options and work together to choose the best solution for resolving this conflict. You both need to find a creative solution that makes each side happy, or else agree to a compromise that splits your differences.

• Resolve

This conflict is superficial and should be easy to solve. Do not avoid it. Talk to the other party right away and find out what they are willing to do to resolve it too. Let them know you are eager to resolve the matter and are prepared to make some accommodations if necessary.